Riley's Second Base Talk

Originally posted 27-June-2009

Frankie: *sits down on edge of office chair* Okay. So, you want to tell me what you were talking about the other night? You, um, you and Rune have been doing...*shrug*...what again?

Riley: *perches on edge of bed and plays with scarf* We...*gets dreamy look* We kissed.

Frankie: Was there petting? Touching? Feeling? *mouth stuck in open position* Anything else?

Riley: *smile widens* Well, there was...touching. You, know, when you kiss, there's normally touching. I know I don't have to tell you that.

Frankie: *shaking head* Uh, no! Ri! What did I say when I introduced Rune to the story? What did I say?

Riley: Frankie, you're not my mother, so just chill.

Frankie: No. I'm not going to just "chill". I told you and Rune that there would be no touchy-touchy, no feely-feely, no kissy-kissy, no licky-licky.

Riley: Yeah, you said that. But guess what? You're just some strange person who's telling our story. You're not real.

Frankie: I'M not real?

Riley: You're not going to tell my mom, are you?

Frankie: *doing fish face*

Riley: Because that would be wickedly uncool and I won't tell you anything anymore.

Frankie: You didn't--*hands flailing*

Riley: *are-you-kidding-me expression* How dumb do you think I am? Look, *hops off bed* you think you're this big adult and that you have all the say over my life. But guess what? You're not my mom. You're just some nut. I don't care what you say. I'm going to do whatever I want whenever I want. If I decide to--

Frankie: No-no-no! *stands up* No! You are not--

Riley: *raises hands and storms out of room* I'm outta here. If you're going to freak out every time I tell you that we kiss-- *the door slams shut*

Frankie: *sigh* Well, that went well.